Alright, this is hardly personal finance-related, but I would like to use this
blog to see if my thought process is relevant.I've always been hearing from guy friends who complain about taking girls out and being expected to pay for expensive dinners and drinks. It appears to me that guys should pay for the first date, since he is the one who initiated. This act of gentleman politeness is definitely appreciated. However, if the girl becomes interested at the end of first date, she could offer to pay her share to indicate her interest. I've met a guy who insisted on paying for first three dates, then I offered to take turn paying so we don't have to do math lessons all the time.
Of course, when I meet someone interesting, I don't want him to spend all his money on food. After the first date, if there are more dates planned, the going-out could be split. Moreover, nowadays, women are making more money and prefer to pay for their share.
As for expensive dinners and drinks, well, I have low-tolerance and one drink is about it. I consider a good time in a coffee worthwhile for a date also.
Don't be a jerk, if you (male) ask someone out, then bring your wallet. Don't be a freeloader, if you (female) haven't offered to pay by the third date, don't waste his time.
January 28th, 2007 at 03:21 pm 1169997695
January 28th, 2007 at 05:03 pm 1170003814
I behave this way because my Mom and Dad raised me that way.
January 28th, 2007 at 08:18 pm 1170015483
January 28th, 2007 at 08:58 pm 1170017923
But, I never expected my dh to buy big expensive dinners or expensive dates either. I was happy with our dates that included picnic lunches and fishing for the afternoon. I was just as happy with a video rental as going to see at movie at an expensive theater. Guess I was a cheap date!
January 29th, 2007 at 04:23 am 1170044615
Waaaaaaaaay back in my dating days I went out with a very nice guy who invited me out to the Spaghetti Factory for our first date. I thought nothing of it and in fact was just happy to be asked out by a decent guy! Later he confessed that was his standard "first date" restaurant because if a girl turned up her nose at going someplace that was nice and family-friendly but definitely not 4-star haute cuisine, he knew right away she was not the girl for him.
January 29th, 2007 at 03:47 pm 1170085667
Would you like to be expected to put out after 3 dates? Even if you don't realize that there was such a rule out here?
Again, I'm not saying I disagree. I just think that having to keep count kind of ruins the whole thing? I don't know. I think if a guy enjoys a girl's company, then he can just keep paying without having to worry about keeping count, just as a woman shouldn't mind paying without having to keep count either.
But then, I've always paid, before and even after I was married and I didn't there was anything wrong with it. But if I have to keep count now... well, I think it would make a guy like me even more gun shy than I already am.
But that's just my personal opinion anyway.
January 30th, 2007 at 01:25 am 1170120319
If the guy initiates the first date he pays. I don't order anything extremely expensive, never more than I can cover. I pretend I have to pay for it even if I really don't.
After that I expect we'll each pay for our own unless it's strictly laid out 'how about I treat you to this great restaurant I know' etc. Just my two cents.
I'm not above letting the guy pay the first time if he initiated and I'm not above paying if I initiate. However, chances are good that I won't initiate so...
January 31st, 2007 at 02:59 am 1170212384
i actually don't know any girl who takes the initiative. they may have hinted, but it seems like the society says that the guy should do the asking. but, yeah, that'd be an interesting situation.
January 31st, 2007 at 03:00 am 1170212431
it's good to see that manners are still alive :-)
January 31st, 2007 at 03:04 am 1170212688
counting to three dates is never necessary. sometimes there are freeloading girls who take advantage of the situation. if i'm truly interested in a guy, i want him to use that money to buy a nice present than food :-)
February 1st, 2007 at 11:18 pm 1170371882
Us woman can be freeloaders and Men always want to initiate the date but complain or get mad when it gets expensive.
February 5th, 2007 at 06:10 am 1170655812
yay! another one agree with me.
October 3rd, 2008 at 08:02 pm 1223064167
I've decided I'll pay for two dates, and if she doesn't then offer to take me out, I'll pass.
I've never had a good relationship with a woman who expected me to pay for everything. Women like that are selfish in many other ways, and it makes for a sour relationship.
November 25th, 2010 at 11:24 pm 1290727467
A guy should pay for first three dates. Then no matter who asks who out, girl should offer to pay. It doesn't have to be 50-50 but she should offer to pay. You cannot make him pay for everything.. Just like we want to make sure that the guy is not using us for sex, he also wants to make sure that girl he is dating is not using him for his money.. Plain and simple.
And yes, the girls who are expecting a guy to pay for every single thing are selfish! We girls have too many expections! If men and women are equal in everything in this day and age, then why go old way and make man pay for everything? Just a thought.